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FIS Make “Naked Chicks” Illegal In Snowboarding

FIS bans naked chicks in move for gender equality in snowboarding

Earlier this month FIS president Gian-Franco Kasper announced at the annual federation Seafood Dinner the new regulations for snowboard graphics that would be allowed in FIS sanctioned contests, he did so with the backing of IOC president Thomas Bach. The committee has decided to disallow graphics which depict ‘the female form in an inappropriate manner’.

“Ban any form of female nudity on snowboard topsheet graphics”

The iconic Burton Love after FIS sanctions

FIS representative Scott Chegg released a statement “We at the FIS are proud to be an inclusive committee, representing all people. We have made the bold move to ban any form of female nudity on snowboard topsheet graphics in an attempt to make the sport more accessible to women.” In short – any snowboarder who wants to compete at an FIS sanctioned event cannot be associated with a brand that uses any imagery of naked chicks for their graphics. The ban would come into effect starting season 2021/2022.

This would take many of the worlds best riders out of contention for the World Championships and the Olympics… So what does this mean for the sport? In theory there are 2 roads that can be taken – 1. Everyone boycotts FIS events a la Terje Haakonsen or 2. Companies take the naked ladies off their boards.

Gian-Franco makes his opinion known

Is this just a publicity stunt, a desperate grab for some good press after he came under fire for denying climate change to a Swiss news paper earlier this year? Although, to be fair to him, it was very cold in Pyeongchang, so global warming probably seemed like a far fetched dream.

In the same interview Kasper said that organising competitions in countries with dictatorships was far easier “from the business side, I say: I just want to go to dictatorships, I do not want to argue with environmentalists.”

Artists rendition of an ‘Appropriate Graphic’

Twitter user @nutsackjenkins commented shortly after the announcement “I thought we were hidden from the scourge of f*minism in snowboarding, this is the worst news since step-on bindings #FISsucksball”. The account has since been deleted, although not before the tweet was brought to our attention.

A mens rights activist outside the event was berated for holding up a placard allegedly depicting a topless woman, but was apologised to afterwards by security officials when it turned out to be an image of a sunbathing Shaun White circa 2009.

Controversially in 2005 Kasper told NPR that he didn’t think women should be ski jumpers because it could cause permanent damage their baby makers, “Don’t forget, it’s like jumping down from, let’s say, about two meters on the ground about a thousand times a year, which seems not to be appropriate for ladies from a medical point of view”. This move for gender equality seems miles away from his usual misogynistic spiel, maybe 2019 is the year in which Kasper becomes a feminist?

“He didn’t think women should be ski jumpers because it could cause permanent damage to their baby makers”

The 2014 Olympic games in Sochi saw the very first women’s ski jump in Olympic history, and in a move that stunned old white men the world over there were 0 (zero) womb explosions during the course of the event. Although new evidence from activism group warns that as few as 2 (two) jumps on a pogo stick per year can generate enough kinetic energy to damage reproductive organs.

Regardless of the motivation behind the move to ban the lewd images, we’re not quite sure how to feel about it. Apparently a GoFundMe has been started to raise money to start a new federation that isn’t quite so politically correct (Federal Alliance of Riders Together). In theory this will progress the sport in terms of trying to equal the perceived gender imbalance, but at what cost? Let us know how you feel in the comments below.

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