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TV Quiz Team Gives Hilarious Answer To Snowboarding Question

Let’s be honest with ourselves, Big Air is a stupid name.

Yesterday, on the evening of January 11th, television hit its peak for the year*. Four mad bastards appeared on BBC and kicked everything we presumed to know about snowboarding right in the genitals. For a bit of background info, University Challenge is a British TV show, hosted by alpha male Jeremy Paxman, where two teams of nerds from opposing universities compete against each other by answering questions to win points. Generally, the questions are more Homer’s Illiad than Halfpipe, but in a twist befitting the pure sphincter clench that’s already 2021, there was a bonus round dedicated to Olympic Snowboarding. (Terje- look away now buddy).

*We know, we know, it’s an incredibly early call but we really can’t see it getting much better than this.

“Full Pump? Nah. Too silly. High Board? Oh yes, bloody hell that’s it- High Board, final answer Jeremy”

These contestants could probably reel off Pi to 1000 digits, decipher ancient Sanskrit texts and list you every single person Henry VIII shagged in his life. Action sports aren’t their usual forte, but instead of choking under pressure these dorks came in all guns blazing to deliver a fat right hook to the very fabric of competitive snowboarding. You can almost see the cogs turning in their ginormous brains “Full Pump? Nah. Too silly. High Board? Oh yes, bloody hell that’s it- High Board, final answer Jeremy.”

Let’s be honest with ourselves, Big Air is a stupid name. These 21st Century Einstein’s said what we’ve all been too scared to admit- it sucks and High Board is better. That’s the truth and if you’ve got a problem with that you can take it up with team captain- ‘Triple Cork’ Taylor. He’d absolutely batter you, by the way.

“Petition to officially change the name from ‘Big Air’ to ‘High Board’ for the 2022 Beijing Winter Olympic Games”

We’re starting a petition for Jeremy ‘Pow Slayer’ Paxman and the team to march upon the office of Gian-Franco Kasper, President of the International Ski Federation (FIS), to deliver a petition to officially change the name from ‘Big Air’ to ‘High Board’ for the 2022 Beijing Winter Olympic Games. Other notable options include ‘Spinny Large Leap’, ‘Sideways Giant Jump’, ‘High Velocity Vault’ and ‘Huge Ramp Slide’. Call a spade a spade for fucks sake, eh?

As old Billy once said:
“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.”

Could this be the future of competitive snowboarding..?

We’d like to personally invite all four members of the team to come shred with us at the earliest opportunity. The only thing that would improve on this hilarious turn of events is the news that Birkbeck team member ‘Couloir Queen’ Clarke has signed a sponsorship deal with Ruroc off the back of this TV appearance. We’ll keep our fingers crossed.

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