Snowboard Bans Re-introduced

More than anything, 2016 was the year of ‘Us vs Them’ – so if current attitudes prevail, don’t be surprised to see more mountains join Alta, Deer Valley and Mad River Glen in banning snowboarding outright.

It’ll be a return to poaching, high-speed ski patrol pursuits, and some absolutely brutal name-calling. And you thought 2016 was bad…

Contest Riders Get Nasty

In-keeping with the general level of discourse in society, the gloves will finally come off in the world of competitive snowboarding. Forget the high-fives – in 2017 it’ll be all about mind games.

So it’ll be out with: “Ah, y’know, it’s just cool to be out here with these amazing riders, I’m so blessed”

And in with: “Of course I won – did you see those other clowns? Embarrassing stuff, low energy. Thank God I was here so that the place wasn’t a total shit show. Ask these people, they know. I tell ya folks, I’ll be winning so much you’ll get sick of the winning. It’s gonna be great.”

Also, as it’s a post-truth world, people will insist that it totally wasn’t a boot grab, and that the video replay proving it is just another example of the media’s biased agenda.

Leash Straps Back In Fashion

In this brave new world of mitts and bib pants, guessing the next fashion trend has become a total crap shoot. We’re going to swing for the fences and say that by this time next year, the snowboard leash strap will have made a storming comeback.

For those who never experienced them the first time round, a leash connected your binding to your boot, or leg, and was therefore one of the most unnecessary items of snowboard gear ever devised. Still, it didn’t stop some resorts from insisting you had one before letting you on a lift.

Look out for the inevitable Burton collab – our money’s on the Westminster Kennel Club.

What do you see happening in 2017? Leave your own predictions in the comments below.