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Eight Things I’ve Learnt About Sex In The Snow

BELLE DE NEIGE IS BACK WITH LESSONS LEARNT UNDER THE DUVET...

Take your beeps and check the snow pack – risk of avalanche and ice burn. Take a rug, or stand up. Ski and snowboard boots are highly useful in this capacity since they allow you to lean, Smooth-Criminal style, without falling over. Do not attempt during a white-out or in areas inhabited by wild boars and/or bears. Oh yes, and unless you want an audience, find a suitable tree run, far away from any lifts. Knit yourself a willy-warmer or woolly condom (optional).

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