“Join an outgoing, hardworking team in a bar with a fantastic atmosphere”

Reality:

Enter a world of sociopathic sex addicts with burgeoning alcoholism, in a bar that’s essentially nothing more than a turd that’s been repeatedly coated with glue and sprinkled with glitter. You will inexplicably fall in love with and shag each and every one of your colleagues over the course of the season. You will never go riding because you’re too busy getting pissed to survive the job. The hours in between will be spent visiting the doctor with various venereal ailments. It’s likely you may also spend the entire season with a moustache drawn on your upper lip in permanent ink.